Saturday, May 28, 2011

My mother made me an offer... not sure I should refuse

My mother has offered that she take DS over the summer for roughly 4-6 weeks so that I can get ahead financially.

Right now, I have a very part-time job and it's not enough money to survive and pay for therapies. DS' father is doing his share as far as support goes, but I still need a new job.

I was working for about 2 years teaching a girl on the spectrum, but that job ended this spring. I now teach one boy, once per week.

The problem I'm having is paying childcare. Childcare costs about $13-$18 per hour on the low end. With DS being out of school in 2 weeks, he would need all day care; so that would cost me a couple of thousand dollars per month... that is crazy!

I could look for a daycare option, which could run me about $750-$1000 per month, but not sure the daycare could provide the attention he requires due to some needs.

Which brings me back to my mother; she offered to watch him for 4-6 weeks so that I can work work work work work, catch up on my bills and save. She lives 1 hour away by plane and about 8 hours drive.

I'm pondering this and as a single parent, I feel like that would be a tremendous gift and gives me a jump on my savings, pay off some bills and allow me to more money to take care of DS, without giving it to a childcare provider.

I just don't want to feel like a bad parent for leaving him for so long; we've never been apart for that long. But wouldn't I be a good parent, by working and saving more money for his basic and therapeutic needs? I don't want him to feel abandoned either. But we would talk every day, and he would understand I was coming back; he can mark off days on the calendar.

Some parents fight a war and leave their babies behind. I surely can leave my child for 4-6 weeks while I go work.

If I were to do this, it would truly have to be worthwhile. I would set a goal of saving $5,000 in those 4-6 weeks. So I would need to hustle!!! I have a few ideas.
a) Get two jobs. Temp agency by day, bartender by night, and also my student on the weekends
b) Sell stuff! I would try and sell up to $250 worth of stuff. I would take donations, whatever I can do to sell things. With $250, I can give my son 2 speech therapy lessons.
c) Summer sublet a room. I have 2 bdrms and 2 baths. IF, I decide that DS can stay with his grandparents, then why not capitalize on that space? I can get at least $750. That's 5 and half speech therapy sessions!

So I'm leaning towards doing this, but I need to feel 100% sure about it. I don't want to do this and then regret it or feel bad about my decision. But he's with his grandmother and if all else fails, I can get him earlier.

Just seems like a good offer for everyone. But still a hard decision for me to come to grips with. Logically, it sounds great. I just am not sure how I will do emotionally.


  1. I don't know you at all, and you aren't asking for advice...but it seems to me that this is a perfect way for you to do good things for your son, while he is WITH FAMILY, and you are taking advantage of an opportunity to reach some important goals. And one more piece of unsolicited advice: if you do it, don't second guess it. You'll be doing it for all the right reasons.

  2. Hi Monica,

    No, please advice is needed and appreciated!

    You are right, he will be with family and it's definitely for the right reasons (good point). And yes, I cannot second guess it after the decisions is final (meaning tickets are purchased).

    Thanks so much, this helps :)

  3. I also don't know you... but, I know what it is to realize that child care will cost more than you can earn, and, to be worn down by "doing it all."

    If he has a loving grandmother willing to help in this way, I say give it a shot. And assuming you have a computer and she does, Skype is free, as other other services whereby you and your son could see and talk to each other every day around both your schedules. Cheaper than phone (free, usually) - and visual! If you don't have a web cam, they aren't expensive relatively - for the peace of mind for both of you.

    As for selling stuff (have been thru it, and will no doubt go through another cycle) - that's fine, but can take time. It's always better to generate income by some sort of paying work if possible. (Not always possible.) And in this economy, if you can get 2 PT jobs, and you're only talking 4 to 6 weeks, I say go for it.

    It's damn tough to get anything in some cases, in some places, depending on your circumstances. (My two cents. OK. $2.02 - which should get you about a half gallon of gas!)

  4. LOL BigLittleWolf-you are right about that, a half of gallon of gas. At 4.20 per gallon, geesh.

    But thank you so much. It helps me a lot to hear this. I have friends that have shared the sentiments.

    I think I'm going for it. I'm feeling better about it and I will do it. Every day I sleep on this, I feel better and better about the decision.

    And yes, definitely best to generate income. I have a few potentials with that already. My student is signing up for summer school, so that should work. I have someone at a temp agency who is willing to help me out and just said call when I'm ready. I also seen some part-time jobs on craigslist. I'm seriously considering renting out the room; I will ask friends if they know of anyone seeking temp housing for the summer. I rather do it based on word of mouth since it is my home.

    Thanks so much ladies. Appreciate you reading and offering the advice.