Just a quick history... I'm originally from Connecticut, born and raised. At age 20, I moved to NYC for about 6 years before I decided to move to Northern California in January 2000. I fell in love with the San Francisco, it felt right. I also met my then husband shortly after arriving in the Bay Area. My dad jokes and asks if Luke was at the airport with a sign or something, because we met so fast.
Back in the late 90s, I always knew sitting in my apartment in NYC, that California was my destiny. I've been here 11 1/2 years now and never looked back.
Now, sitting in my Bay Area apartment, I've been getting that nagging feeling for a few weeks now. The desire to move. Back then, I knew New York had run it's course and Connecticut was never for me. Although I appreciate Connecticut, it just doesn't feel like home.
I'm wondering if, Northern California is the place for me and I think our place is Southern California. Because I do truly love this state.
As I sit at home budgeting life, I realize with the high cost of living, I'm unable to enjoy life the way I want to enjoy it. So tired of being on a friggin' budget!!! Budgeting just to pay bills, we can never get ahead here and never enjoy the country club, I refer to as The Bay Area. There is sooo much to do here, but if you are just paying bills, paying for therapy, very hard to utilize and see everything there is to see and do.
We live in an apartment on the top floor and DS is super hyper and is not allowed to do things before 9am or after 10pm. Even during normal hours, his activity level is too high for the neighbors. I get that, but at the same time, I hate living in an apartment, he is so restricted. I'm restricted too!
Then there is the issue of no backyard. DS wants to rump and stomp and ruckus and roar! Like the Wild Things.
I just find myself being a police officer to him and I'm tired of it.... it's so stressful.
Yes, I can find a house to rent here in the Bay Area, but that is going to be a whole lot more money. A 2bdrm one bath would run me $2300.
I'm also getting tired of the finicky weather of the Bay. One week is 90s and my little apt with no air conditioning is unbearable. Then it's friggin' cold and I have to wear a jacket in the month of June. Make up your mind weather.
The school districts aren't that great. Yes, there are some "good ones", but I'm just over fighting day and night for my son to just be a part of the school. Give me a break!!! What year is it and where are we? He is as high functioning as you can get with Autism, but yet, he has to stay in the special day class when his intelligence is through the roof, he writes better than me, reads beyond his typical peers, is socially motivated.... geesh! Mainstreaming and Inclusion was designed for this type of kid. He is bored in his SDC and he has friends in the typical class that he wants to be with. I have to literally fight for him to sit in a class or for them to find an appropriate classroom. So whack!
There aren't many private school options that offer an inclusion model. I can only think of one school and they have a waiting list and we're on it.
Then there is the men of the Bay Area. People in my age range are either married, married and trying to cheat (yes, I cannot tell you how many married men, are online trying to date or come up to me and want to date... excuse me, what about your WIFE!), or single and just looking for a FWB. I'm 40 in a few months and ready to settle down again.
The point of my bitchin' and moanin'... I can't see what is keeping me here.
I'm thinking of Southern California; specifically the Mission Viejo area. I love that area.
The weather is more consistent.
I can actually rent a house for pretty much what I pay here and we can live without as many limitations.
It seems to be a lot more efforts for inclusion and special needs advocacy.
More private special education options.
And the best part, it's 4 hour drive to my parents in Nevada. I need the SUPPORT, it's not easy to be a single parent to a child with special needs and I truly could use a hand.
Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud or thinking and typing. I'm not sure what will happen. But if I am to move, I want to do it within 6 months. I can't see staying here, unless DS gets into that school I like. I need to do a lot more research over the next few weeks and make some appointments to go down there.
Oh and as far as his dad goes, he can still see his son on the same time schedule. We can just meet halfway or something. We'll only be 4 hours away from him. He has a great work schedule and his home is his office, so that will not be a problem. He was actually thinking of moving to Washington State.
I will keep you posted. My bitch fest is over. Thanks for reading.
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