Last night, I broke down and just cried. My heart ached so much, I missed DS so much. And then, I started to do some extreme worrying about DS' future etc... then I started to worry if it was too much trouble for my parents to have DS there, because he is such a handful, then I started feeling guilty.
It was painful!
So I gave myself permission to cry, worry, stress, hurt, etc... but in the morning, I had to pull my socks up.
Before I drifted off to sleep I told myself: DS will be fine just focus on the moment, not the future. Your parents will fine and be able to take care of DS. And as far as guilt, he is with family and you are doing this to earn money and save money. So it's okay!
This morning, I felt much better. Still a subtle dullness but more optimistic.